The Kirkbymoorside Directory


J H Dobson

This is a wonderful document attributed to J H Dobson around 1918. It reports with great affection about the people of the town and was published in the church magazine.   At the time of writing, and throughout the 1920s, he was a clerk at the station. After a couple of positions at other stations, he returned to Kirby as Station Master in 1942 until his retirement in 1955.

Oh come up to Kirby. Tis a most pleasant land,
The scenery is delightful, the air, oh it's grand.
Well show you the district round each hill and vale,
And you'll be delighted with bonny Ryedale.
The natives up here right good sports you will find 'em
And I will endeavor to briefly describe them.
When first you arrive your luggage will be led
Up the street on a barrow drawn by Johnny Medd.
You'll soon want some dibs, so go straight to the bank,
And see what you make of William Frank
He U cash your cheque and no doubt will succeed
In selling you some tillage or else some grass seed.
You should next go across to the cabman Frank Clark,
Him and his carriages came out of the ark.
That he might lose you, you need have no fears,
He's traveled this district for hundreds of years.
He'll tell you the news, Shew you each dale and hill,
And what he can't tell you his two sisters will.
Some coals you will want, so put down your book,
That the best man to bring them is called Tommy Cook.
For if you want them quick I'm afraid t'would be folly,
To pass on the job to poor old Tom Colley.
And as for James Thompson, he's quite in a fog,
For he's just been summoned for keeping a dog.
We'll give you some music if you will not complain
That Andersen's band was the cause of much pain.
If you want a cow, a carthorse or trotter,
Anything in that line you'll get from George Potter.
On horticulture perhaps, you would like a few tips,
You'll know all about it when you have seen Kips.
The hairdressing saloon here is kept by Hart Rutter,
Don't go when he's busy or else he will splutter.
I hope you've no timber, for alas and alack,
I regret that to lead if there's none but mad Jack ,
And if you are sensitive that'd be injurious,
His language is so bad it's simply sulphunous.
Rails, posts, or stakes you want for your trees,
The saws of John Cattley they run with great ease,
His mill is quite fit, this I do know,
Full pressure is maintained by his man Jinky Joe.
Your flour get from Boddy, it will be good and sweet,
Only when you go for it keep away from his feet.
The town here is quiet, you will not hear a brawl,
The peace is well kept by police sergeant Hall.
If folk charge too much for their eggs or their butter,
Dawson Rickaby will nab'em and then there's a flutter.
Pots, pans or kettles, tins that won't crack,
All these you'll get if you ask Pot Isaac.
Jinny Dowson or Coopers for rakes, spades and hoes.
Footwear from Oldroyd or else from Fred Bowes.
Sample or Taylor will sell you boot polish,
George Hill is noted for sauce and good relish.
Antiques so rare back from Kirby you'll bring.
For o specialist in such like is one Harry King.
Swin will your teeth draw, you'll not say it hurts,
Tom Cooper will get you the latest in shirts.
Groceries or all kinds, things that are good,
Sold at a shop by Allison Sherwood.
Gledhill will sell you a tie, blue or red.
Tommy Jackson is known as a baker of bread.
Should botany attract you, each plant in the vale
Will be fully explained by the brothers Stockdale.
Richardson Sunley has two big fat sons,
John William makes saddles and yoblam bakes buns.
The town Hail? Oh yes. Of course they will let it,
Your application should be made out to William Bennett
The smithy up here, 'tis not under a chestnut tree,
But the blacksmith George Hodgson a good hand is he.
Your fire it won't burn, then the chimney wants sweeping,
Sweep Jim will do it, if there's not a race meeting.
There sit on the board here some men of great genius,
A man of many parts is Parser, Cornelius.
Your character maligned? then at once you should fetch
Solicitor Dick Jennings or else Johnny Fetch.
Train service you want to Hull, Leeds or Gloucester,
Particulars correct, will be given by John Forster
And should he be out, ask his clerks three,
Dobson, Miss Rickaby and Miss Olive Lee.
The food tickets bother you, then ask one who knows,
You'll not be in doubt long when you've seen James Bowes.
We hope you'll not snuff it, but if you should
We'll make best arrangements and see Arthur Wood.
Each morning that comes your door bell, it will ring,
And you'll see all the papers there brought by Joe King.
Keep from women and wine, and from spirits and sherry,
Or else you'll arrive at the workhouse with Jerry.
Though 'tis pleasant up there, and none want to be higher
Than the house on the hills, where rules one Jeremiah.
As for the town crier, well if you but knew it,
Quite a link with the past here in Bob Hewitt.
Rags, bones, or bottles, skins or horse hair,
Take them to Baker's who live in the Square.
She'll take your lumber, or ought you've to sell,
And if you're not careful she'll take you as well.
Plumbers here are two, one Thorne and one Freer,
And Calaam and Jackson are famed for their beer.
Tobacco, cigars, all the best to be had,
Requirements in these lines are soon met by Fad.
And if in hot weather you should, chance be here,
He will supply you with good ginger beer,
That you won't hang yourself we all do hope,
But if you really want to, George Lealman sells rope.
You will get in his shop, of that there's no doubt,
But ifs a terrible job when you want to get out
He's quite a good chap, but he's so much spare breath,
That if he gets started, he'll talk you to death.
On board days you'll see him with his Sunday coat on,
Accompanied by Carpenter, Wass and Mr. Horton.
Should you get pinched, though it not be your fault,
Your case will be tried here by Harrison Holt.
Dickey Dixon the farmer, with face fat and full
He's just like the pictures you see of John Bull.
John Taylor the butcher is not quite so stout,
But he is as jovial when he's not got the gout
And still there are others but I've not the time,
To sit down and marshall them all into rhyme.
So take my advice, let there be no ifs and buts,
Just come up to Kirby and see all these nuts.
I H Dobson

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